2nd Chemo Treatment - March 6, 2009

Hello,

I spoke to soon about not losing hair. The day after I wrote that I still had my hair, it began to fall out. I am shedding like a dog. It's just a matter of a week (if that) before its time to shave my head. I have big ears like my dad, so its not going to be a pretty sight. I found two cute wigs; one is dark black and about shoulder length and the other (my goddess wig) is dark brown, long and wavy. The great news is that I didn't have to buy them. At the Swedish Education Center, they offer two free wigs (gently used or new). I"ll be sure to post pictures of me in the wigs when I wear them. In addition to the wigs, I plan to wear scarfs and hats.

Gearing up for Treatment
I have taken some steps to prepare myself for chemo. I went alone to the cabin for 4 nights and it was wonderful! It snowed the evening I arrived about 3-4 inches. I went to the river often to take a snapshot in my mind of what I saw, smelt, heard, and felt. I will recall these images when I have my next chemotherapy. I am using visualization to help with my healing process. My aim is to heal my body, mind and spirit. For me, the challenge is my mind and spirit.

Things that have contributed to my spirit healing are nature and a healing circle. What is a healing circle? I'm not sure exactly what the definition is, but I can describe the process and my experience following. Several of my girlfriends (7) came to my home on Feb 21. They each described there intention of what they hoped to bring to me. I stated my intention of the healing circle - that I would come to have wisdom, joy and happiness. The gals sat in a circle around me and they held hands. There was silence for a period of time in which each of them prayed or meditated. Then each touched me (feet, arm, shoulder, head, leg) and directed their energy and light into me this went on for sometime as well. I did feel their energy and I felt like I was shining bright like a star. At one point, I felt like I was flying. I was tense in the beginning, but I felt my body melt into the floor. After a period of time, it became apparant that fear had been dominating my thoughts and my emotions and I had to and wanted to let it go. FEAR BE GONE is what I said aloud. I left this experience feeling so loved, energized, hopeful and most important the my flame inside of me shining a little brighter. The next time we have a healing circle, we will have a Reiki Master that has offered to come. I felt so much love from these ladies and I'm ever so grateful for their presence in my life; This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!

Some fun classes in the next coming days. I will start QiGong on Wednesday and on Saturday I will start beginning African drumming. These classes are free and offered through Cancer Lifeline. I will use all the resources available to help heal my body mind and spirt.