Hello my lovely family and friends,
Thank you for your continous support and prayers. Your prayer is what sustained and continues to sustain me. Even for the period of time that I found it difficult to pray during the first several months of chemo. Your prayers and my frequent trips to the cabin and being out in nature made it possible for me to find my way back to the Great Spirit.
I am in my 2nd week of radiation and so far no major side effects. My energy has been pretty good, although I find myself needing to take a daily nap or two. The area that is being treated has not turned red yet, but I suspect it will happen in the coming weeks. I've noticed that following treatment I experience a headache, phlem in my throat, and fatigue. My friends, Donna, Michelle, and Kristin have been taking me to daily radiation appts. Next week, now that Tina and Linda have returned to town, each (of the 5) will take me one day/week. I realize how loved I am and it is the love of family and friends that is healing me - physically, emotionally and spriitually.
Well, I must get ready to go to radiation this morning, so until next time. I hope all of you have a safe and fun 4th of July. I won't be going to the cabin as I rented it out, but Mark and I will be going to the Olympic Peninsula with some friends.
Oh, and I have some fabulous news! I'm going to be a grandma. Meoka is about 2.5 months pregnant. I am very excited about this.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Radiation to begin June 22, 2009
Hi gang,
I havn't yet begun into the upswing portion following chemo, that is still about four - five days away. The last three days, I have felt cruddy - my digestive track (mouth, esophogus and stomach) has been very upset ( i ran out of L Glutamine) and I have slept (Wed, Thurs, Fri & Sat) a lot throughout the day. My fingers are puffy and itchy. My fingers appear to have heat bumps on them. I'm sleeping through the night with the exception of getting up to use the restroom. It is a GOOD feeling to know that this is the last effects that I will experience from chemo.
I am optimistic and my spirits are good. I'm feeling confident that radition won't get the best of me by causing great fatigue. My plan is to still try to do a little walking each day and maybe I can resume my workout at Curves.
I am enrolled for 2 summer courses: Tongue and Pulse Diagnosis, and Herbal Making. In mid- August when radiation is complete, I hope to visit my dad in Texas. Iam also eager to hike, bike, kayak and go camping. I plan to spend sometime working at Curves.
I havn't yet begun into the upswing portion following chemo, that is still about four - five days away. The last three days, I have felt cruddy - my digestive track (mouth, esophogus and stomach) has been very upset ( i ran out of L Glutamine) and I have slept (Wed, Thurs, Fri & Sat) a lot throughout the day. My fingers are puffy and itchy. My fingers appear to have heat bumps on them. I'm sleeping through the night with the exception of getting up to use the restroom. It is a GOOD feeling to know that this is the last effects that I will experience from chemo.
I am optimistic and my spirits are good. I'm feeling confident that radition won't get the best of me by causing great fatigue. My plan is to still try to do a little walking each day and maybe I can resume my workout at Curves.
I am enrolled for 2 summer courses: Tongue and Pulse Diagnosis, and Herbal Making. In mid- August when radiation is complete, I hope to visit my dad in Texas. Iam also eager to hike, bike, kayak and go camping. I plan to spend sometime working at Curves.
Monday, June 1, 2009
5/27/09 Deb & Foxina @ the Cowlitz River
The weather was spectacular this Memorial Day weekend along the Cowlitz River.
This is the place that I've talked about many times in my blog; I visit this piece of paradise to renew my spirit.
The photo to the left is a shot of Lake Creek (on the right) flowing into the Cowlitz River.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
May 29, 2009 - Last Chemo Treatment
Dear Family & Friends,
I had my last chemo treatment 2 days ago, Yahoo!
I went to the cabin for Memorial Day weekend and had a glorious 5 days before my last treatment. Some friends (John & Jean w/kids Tyler and Kyle), Vicki & Anthony (kids Sophia n Isaih) spent the night and others (Meoka & Chris, Mike & Annette and Mikes brother, Greg) came up for the Saturday night bbq. We bbq'd at the cabana along the river. It was a wonderful relaxing time! After the bbq we sat around the campfire at the cabin and ate smores. Everyone was gone by Monday, except Mark and I. We took morning and evening walks to the river hoping to see the elk and eagles. I think the wildlife fleed town due to the large influx of humans that attended the flea market. The small town of Packwood was packed.
I have been sleeping pretty well throughout the night since Friday,May 21st. Prior to that, I had been experiencing insomnia since the beginning of chemo treatment - I would wake up 3-4 times between the hours of 12-3am, 7 days a week. I finally told my ND and MD that my back was up against the wall and I needed sleep. I thought the lack of sleep could have contributed to my fatigue, lack of concentration, memory loss, depression, etc. Of course, chemo and steroids causes these effects, but I finally realized that sleep is so crucial to my healing. I called my ND first because I wanted to try naturopathic remedies first; Dr. Standish recommended that I take GABA (up to 2000mg) for two nights along with the melatonin which I have been taking since chemo began; if by the 2nd night, sleep still eluded me, then she strongly suggested that I take the Ambian that my oncologist prescribed. I tried the GABA for 3 nights which didn't solve the insomnia problem. I've never taken sleeping pills before, but I desperately needed to sleep, so I begin taking and sleep followed. In the next 2 wks, I will see if sleep helps with the side effects I have had for the last 4 months. I found that at the cabin I was had more energy (took some naps and rested if needed), and my spirits were good.
The next step for me is 6 weeks of radiation (5 days/week) which will begin in approx. 3 wks.
Again, the journey that I have made thus far could not have been possible, it is the love and support of my family and friends that has made this possible. The integration clinic at Bastyr has been HUGE for my healing process as well. I was listening to my favorite Chrisitan station (105.3) and a song came on that had encourgage words, "greater things are to come and greater things are to be done in the city." I am finally beginning to believe that God will use my situation to help others. I have been told this by my Dr's and friends, but I haven't felt it deep within my being until now. My days are filled with more hope than fear (which I experienced in the earlier days of chemo). My faith has been renewed - thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers.
Don't get me wrong fear is still present, because I still have 25% of reoccurance, but my friend Tina (3 out of 4 year ND student) reminds me that that percentage does not include naturopathic medicine and Dr. Standish will use all naturopathic modalities to make sure that I don't get cancer again. Dr. Standish is an expert in this field and I trust her.
Mark took a picture of me at the river - bald head and all.
I had my last chemo treatment 2 days ago, Yahoo!
I went to the cabin for Memorial Day weekend and had a glorious 5 days before my last treatment. Some friends (John & Jean w/kids Tyler and Kyle), Vicki & Anthony (kids Sophia n Isaih) spent the night and others (Meoka & Chris, Mike & Annette and Mikes brother, Greg) came up for the Saturday night bbq. We bbq'd at the cabana along the river. It was a wonderful relaxing time! After the bbq we sat around the campfire at the cabin and ate smores. Everyone was gone by Monday, except Mark and I. We took morning and evening walks to the river hoping to see the elk and eagles. I think the wildlife fleed town due to the large influx of humans that attended the flea market. The small town of Packwood was packed.
I have been sleeping pretty well throughout the night since Friday,May 21st. Prior to that, I had been experiencing insomnia since the beginning of chemo treatment - I would wake up 3-4 times between the hours of 12-3am, 7 days a week. I finally told my ND and MD that my back was up against the wall and I needed sleep. I thought the lack of sleep could have contributed to my fatigue, lack of concentration, memory loss, depression, etc. Of course, chemo and steroids causes these effects, but I finally realized that sleep is so crucial to my healing. I called my ND first because I wanted to try naturopathic remedies first; Dr. Standish recommended that I take GABA (up to 2000mg) for two nights along with the melatonin which I have been taking since chemo began; if by the 2nd night, sleep still eluded me, then she strongly suggested that I take the Ambian that my oncologist prescribed. I tried the GABA for 3 nights which didn't solve the insomnia problem. I've never taken sleeping pills before, but I desperately needed to sleep, so I begin taking and sleep followed. In the next 2 wks, I will see if sleep helps with the side effects I have had for the last 4 months. I found that at the cabin I was had more energy (took some naps and rested if needed), and my spirits were good.
The next step for me is 6 weeks of radiation (5 days/week) which will begin in approx. 3 wks.
Again, the journey that I have made thus far could not have been possible, it is the love and support of my family and friends that has made this possible. The integration clinic at Bastyr has been HUGE for my healing process as well. I was listening to my favorite Chrisitan station (105.3) and a song came on that had encourgage words, "greater things are to come and greater things are to be done in the city." I am finally beginning to believe that God will use my situation to help others. I have been told this by my Dr's and friends, but I haven't felt it deep within my being until now. My days are filled with more hope than fear (which I experienced in the earlier days of chemo). My faith has been renewed - thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers.
Don't get me wrong fear is still present, because I still have 25% of reoccurance, but my friend Tina (3 out of 4 year ND student) reminds me that that percentage does not include naturopathic medicine and Dr. Standish will use all naturopathic modalities to make sure that I don't get cancer again. Dr. Standish is an expert in this field and I trust her.
Mark took a picture of me at the river - bald head and all.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Today - Chemo treatment # 5
Dear family and extended family,
My good days seem to be getting shorter and my chemo crummy days seem to be lasting longer longer. OUt of a three week period of time, I have 5 feel good days and 16 not so good. I expressed my concern to my oncologist and ND and they confirmed that chemo treatment is cummulative.
Chemo crummies physically leave me short of breath - so my daily walking has been reduced greatly, decreased energy (giving me 1-3 hours/day to be somewhat productive), lack of sleep do to hot flashes, during the day I emit heat from my head and the palm of my hands, its a challenge to take the pets out to go potty, my stomach and esophogus hurt, my nail beds are turning brown, the skin around my nails are dry and peeling, and I ache all over; on a mental note, I am beginning to exhibit short term memory loss and a foggy brain. My Dr's call this chemo brain which can last 6-9 months or longer. With that being said, my cognitive skills just arn't as sharp as I'd like them to be, so my writing skills may also suffer considerably. So, I'll do my best in speaking and writing and hope that I make sense. When I talk, my sentence structure and words are scrammbled, so I repeat myself with the way it's supposed to be said. My friend Mark said, " you don't need to repeat yourself. Your not being graded." I love that. Mark was my husband for 21 years and it is very nice to have his support and friendship during this time.
In addition to chemo brain, when the steroids ware off, I experierence irriatability, extreme sensitivity to sounds (brings about anxiety especially if in a public place), and depression. Last Wed, was very difficult for. I finally hit a wall and decided that I no longer wanted to continue with chemotherapy- I really was tired of being in pain, suffering and not not feeling like me. I actually thought dying from cancer looked like a better alternative. After a good cry, and sharing my thoughts with a few friends, I began to feel emotionally a little better on Thursday. Mark was one of the persons that I spoke with on Wed. and he wanted to come visit me on Thursday. He did and that distracted me and cheered me up. My girlfriend Tina, whose aunt has just recently finished her treatment with colon cancer, told me that my thoughts were pretty normal and that was a relief to hear this.
I will show up for chemo today. My friend Janelle will be driving me. If I didn't go, I think she and a few friends would carry me to treatment - what a sight that would be (LOL). Deep down inside, I do want to live, but I don't exactly know how to live at peace with the pain. I wish I was there, but I haven't figured it out yet. I am working with Dr. Brad on the emotional, spiritual and mental component of my illness. If it wasn't for that, I believe I would be more hopeless.
On a positive note, some of my friends came over and held a second healing circle for me a couple of weeks ago. It was very calming and healing for me. I had too much heat inside (from chemo) and the touch of their hands were cool and refreshing. It was as though they removed heat. My intention this time was to have courage to proceed. I recieved a card from a friend that described beautifully what courage means to me at this moment - take in one day at a time and remember that God is in the present moment:
"Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the little voice
at the end of the day that says I"ll try
again tomorrow"
-Mary Anne Radmacher
I truly believe that God is watching out for me. He is doing that through the blessing of friends/family. Thank you for following my journey and sharing your lives with me. I never really knew until I got cancer of how truly that I am loved.
Again, wishing you health from your cells to your spirit.
Love Debbie
My good days seem to be getting shorter and my chemo crummy days seem to be lasting longer longer. OUt of a three week period of time, I have 5 feel good days and 16 not so good. I expressed my concern to my oncologist and ND and they confirmed that chemo treatment is cummulative.
Chemo crummies physically leave me short of breath - so my daily walking has been reduced greatly, decreased energy (giving me 1-3 hours/day to be somewhat productive), lack of sleep do to hot flashes, during the day I emit heat from my head and the palm of my hands, its a challenge to take the pets out to go potty, my stomach and esophogus hurt, my nail beds are turning brown, the skin around my nails are dry and peeling, and I ache all over; on a mental note, I am beginning to exhibit short term memory loss and a foggy brain. My Dr's call this chemo brain which can last 6-9 months or longer. With that being said, my cognitive skills just arn't as sharp as I'd like them to be, so my writing skills may also suffer considerably. So, I'll do my best in speaking and writing and hope that I make sense. When I talk, my sentence structure and words are scrammbled, so I repeat myself with the way it's supposed to be said. My friend Mark said, " you don't need to repeat yourself. Your not being graded." I love that. Mark was my husband for 21 years and it is very nice to have his support and friendship during this time.
In addition to chemo brain, when the steroids ware off, I experierence irriatability, extreme sensitivity to sounds (brings about anxiety especially if in a public place), and depression. Last Wed, was very difficult for. I finally hit a wall and decided that I no longer wanted to continue with chemotherapy- I really was tired of being in pain, suffering and not not feeling like me. I actually thought dying from cancer looked like a better alternative. After a good cry, and sharing my thoughts with a few friends, I began to feel emotionally a little better on Thursday. Mark was one of the persons that I spoke with on Wed. and he wanted to come visit me on Thursday. He did and that distracted me and cheered me up. My girlfriend Tina, whose aunt has just recently finished her treatment with colon cancer, told me that my thoughts were pretty normal and that was a relief to hear this.
I will show up for chemo today. My friend Janelle will be driving me. If I didn't go, I think she and a few friends would carry me to treatment - what a sight that would be (LOL). Deep down inside, I do want to live, but I don't exactly know how to live at peace with the pain. I wish I was there, but I haven't figured it out yet. I am working with Dr. Brad on the emotional, spiritual and mental component of my illness. If it wasn't for that, I believe I would be more hopeless.
On a positive note, some of my friends came over and held a second healing circle for me a couple of weeks ago. It was very calming and healing for me. I had too much heat inside (from chemo) and the touch of their hands were cool and refreshing. It was as though they removed heat. My intention this time was to have courage to proceed. I recieved a card from a friend that described beautifully what courage means to me at this moment - take in one day at a time and remember that God is in the present moment:
"Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the little voice
at the end of the day that says I"ll try
again tomorrow"
-Mary Anne Radmacher
I truly believe that God is watching out for me. He is doing that through the blessing of friends/family. Thank you for following my journey and sharing your lives with me. I never really knew until I got cancer of how truly that I am loved.
Again, wishing you health from your cells to your spirit.
Love Debbie
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Sometimes the Climb Feels a Little Steeper
Monday was not such a good day. I was emotionally and mentally distressed. I looked in the mirror as I have many times, removed my stocking cap which exposed my bald head and I thought to myself "I have cancer." It brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could just wish it away, but I can't. Recalling that moment, now brings tears. A small part of me doesn't want to do chemo treatment anymore. While I may have this thought, I know it's just that. It will not be something that I act on. Besides, the people that love me would not allow this to happen - they'd tie me up and drag me to treatment (hee hee). I've never been a quitter and it's not time to start. However, this is tough and to date it is one of the most difficult challenges that I have had to endure. Thank God, I have not had to do it alone. I am thankful for the loving support of family and friends. Whether my family & friends talk to me frequently or infrequently, prepare nutrititious meals, visit me, drive me to doctor appts, share books & cd's, or write comments on my blog - all of it demonstrates your love for me. Before my diagnosis, I never really knew how much I was loved. Muchas Gracias!
I'm so glad to be up and moving again. The side effects from chemo this last time seem to be consistent with the previous treatments. The recovery time is about 11-12 days. It is during this time that I find it difficult to write. Safe to say, it is my lack of energy that makes it challenging. At times, I find it hard to accept that I am not the energizer bunny that I used to be - I am limited. Who cares to admit that they are limited? Not me. There is One who is unlimited - the Great Spirit, God. He is the One that I must rely on- something that I have not completely done. It has become evident that I must go deeper within to tap into that source; eventhough, I don't fully understand my reluctance. My experience demonstrates that healing from cancer requires more that just physical healing; healing spiritually, emotionally and mentally are equally as important, if not more so.
I started school this week and I am thrilled to be a student again walking around campus. It is wonderful to see my classmates - I will have to watch my energy expenditure though. Do you realize how difficult that is? I want to smile and talk and talk, but I must remember in small doses. On that note, I shall conclude my blog.
Eat greens
I'm so glad to be up and moving again. The side effects from chemo this last time seem to be consistent with the previous treatments. The recovery time is about 11-12 days. It is during this time that I find it difficult to write. Safe to say, it is my lack of energy that makes it challenging. At times, I find it hard to accept that I am not the energizer bunny that I used to be - I am limited. Who cares to admit that they are limited? Not me. There is One who is unlimited - the Great Spirit, God. He is the One that I must rely on- something that I have not completely done. It has become evident that I must go deeper within to tap into that source; eventhough, I don't fully understand my reluctance. My experience demonstrates that healing from cancer requires more that just physical healing; healing spiritually, emotionally and mentally are equally as important, if not more so.
I started school this week and I am thrilled to be a student again walking around campus. It is wonderful to see my classmates - I will have to watch my energy expenditure though. Do you realize how difficult that is? I want to smile and talk and talk, but I must remember in small doses. On that note, I shall conclude my blog.
Eat greens
Friday, March 27, 2009
What is Bastyr Integrative Oncolgoy Research Clinic?
The information below was e-mailed to the Bastyr Community and I thought you might be interested in my participation in this research. This study addresses a missing link that exist in Western/Traditional medicine; Naturopathic medicine compliments western medicine by looking at the whole person which includes mind and spirit. With each day, I feel that my mind and spirit are healing (as is my physical) and as a result I am hopeful that I can beat this thing.
Side note: Seeking prayer request for my father, Noel, he was recently diagnosed with cancer, he had surgery two weeks ago and they believed they got it all. He is 83 and when I talk to him on the phone I can tell he's getting tired. He sleeps a lot in his recliner. I hope to visit him in late April. The thought of losing my father makes me very sad and would be a crushing blow. For now though, I am living very much in the moment, taking each day as it comes and doing what's in front of me to do. That truly is all that my mind can handle.
___________________________________________________________________
Bastyr University is pleased to announce the opening of the Bastyr Integrative Oncology Research Clinic (BIORC). This research clinic was developed through a grant from Cleavage Creek Cellars, producers of world class wines and contributor of 10 percent of gross sales to fight breast cancer.
Bastyr University’s Integrative Oncology Clinic outpatient facility provides naturopathic and traditional Chinese medicine treatment and integrated management of cancer patients. The new clinic offers patients comprehensive support and treatment for each stage of their experience, from diagnosis to treatment decisions, and restoration of immune function and health after the completion of standard treatment. Providers include Steve Given, L.Ac., DAOM (traditional Chinese medical oncology), Brad Lichtenstein, ND (mind-body medicine), Eric Yarnell, ND (prostate cancer), and Leanna Standish, ND, PhD, L.Ac., FABNO (naturopathic oncology and clinic director). Therapeutic approaches include mind/body medicine, qi gong, yoga, acupuncture, botanical and nutritional medicine. Clinic doctors will communicate with each patient’s medical and radiation oncologists to ensure truly integrated care.
We are very grateful to Cleavage Creek for making the new Bastyr Integrative Oncology Research Clinic possible. We also appreciate the assistance provided by the staff from Bastyr Center for Natural Health in setting up this new satellite clinic.
All patients with cancer diagnoses who receive treatment and care at the Bastyr Integrative Oncology Research Clinic will be asked to participate in the ongoing research study to monitor clinical and quality of life outcomes. Call 425.602.3311 to schedule an appointment. For more information, see our website at http://biorc.bastyr.edu
Timothy C. Callahan, PhD
Senior Vice President and Provost
Bastyr University
425-602-3110
Side note: Seeking prayer request for my father, Noel, he was recently diagnosed with cancer, he had surgery two weeks ago and they believed they got it all. He is 83 and when I talk to him on the phone I can tell he's getting tired. He sleeps a lot in his recliner. I hope to visit him in late April. The thought of losing my father makes me very sad and would be a crushing blow. For now though, I am living very much in the moment, taking each day as it comes and doing what's in front of me to do. That truly is all that my mind can handle.
___________________________________________________________________
Bastyr University is pleased to announce the opening of the Bastyr Integrative Oncology Research Clinic (BIORC). This research clinic was developed through a grant from Cleavage Creek Cellars, producers of world class wines and contributor of 10 percent of gross sales to fight breast cancer.
Bastyr University’s Integrative Oncology Clinic outpatient facility provides naturopathic and traditional Chinese medicine treatment and integrated management of cancer patients. The new clinic offers patients comprehensive support and treatment for each stage of their experience, from diagnosis to treatment decisions, and restoration of immune function and health after the completion of standard treatment. Providers include Steve Given, L.Ac., DAOM (traditional Chinese medical oncology), Brad Lichtenstein, ND (mind-body medicine), Eric Yarnell, ND (prostate cancer), and Leanna Standish, ND, PhD, L.Ac., FABNO (naturopathic oncology and clinic director). Therapeutic approaches include mind/body medicine, qi gong, yoga, acupuncture, botanical and nutritional medicine. Clinic doctors will communicate with each patient’s medical and radiation oncologists to ensure truly integrated care.
We are very grateful to Cleavage Creek for making the new Bastyr Integrative Oncology Research Clinic possible. We also appreciate the assistance provided by the staff from Bastyr Center for Natural Health in setting up this new satellite clinic.
All patients with cancer diagnoses who receive treatment and care at the Bastyr Integrative Oncology Research Clinic will be asked to participate in the ongoing research study to monitor clinical and quality of life outcomes. Call 425.602.3311 to schedule an appointment. For more information, see our website at http://biorc.bastyr.edu
Timothy C. Callahan, PhD
Senior Vice President and Provost
Bastyr University
425-602-3110
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